Don't Jinx It

My avid readers will know that I am not fond of New Years Eve, or any regimented form of fun which will make my upcoming birthday a bit blurgh. However, I think finally I can articulate one of the single most annoying things about New Years Eve. It's the constant barrage of comments like "Lets hope its the best year ever!" and my least favorite and most lazy magazine cover story ever "New Year New You".

Why don't you go and fuck yourself? No, really, why don't you? The best year ever? Seriously? The woman who "waited" on me in Starbucks this morning was so seething with hatred for every single person standing in the line, including most lovable me, that really 2010 is all but shot in terms of "best year ever" for me. I know, its only day 5 but she was just plain rude.

"New Year New You"? Here's the new me - I will no longer be helping any blind people cross streets/board trains/find platforms. Sorry. I'm sure there are really a lot of nice blind people but so far any of the ones I've attempted to help in New York City have been aggressive and best and Blackberry thieves at worst. Yup, took my blackberry straight out my bag! So while my ass stays the same size, my attitude is certainly shaping up to be the worst its been in a long time.

New Year New Me - believe it punk.

Tongue

As depressed as I was (and probably always will be) over New Years eve, I managed to pull myself up by my bootstraps and head out for dinner with the girls. We've given ourselves the moniker "The Real Housewives of Astoria", but really they would NEVER make a show about us because we discuss how to get great deals at Disney World and why our kids 3rd grade teacher makes us use loose leaf. Not exactly riveting tv viewing.

I forgot about my depression basically as soon as I knew I was being picked up. My husband waved good bye out of the window ("Bye Dad, don't wait up" I yelled). And that was it. We ate, drank and laughed for 3 hours straight. I have been so blessed in my life by the most wonderful women. I have friends that I have known for about a million years and that I will be friends with until the day I die. And I have friends that I have known for a much shorter period of time, but of which I have no doubt will be with me until the day I die. I know these are women who will support me, laugh with me, cry with me, and always tell me when my ass looks too big in something. Basically all the corny crap that you'd like to think you are too cynical and long in the tooth to care about, but suddenly realize is all that matters.

Got to go back to work tomorrow. But so do we all. The kids go back to school tomorrow. But all our kids do. I love it. A misery that becomes a joy. Because it is shared. Because we have each other.

I'm glad New Years is over. And I'm so excited for all the fun I will have with darling friends both near and far this year.

"Think where man's glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends"

PS - Why is this post called tongue? Oh, they know. They know.

I Hate New Years Eve

I've been trying to remember a time when I enjoyed New Years Eve. I can't. For as long as I can recall I have had an almost pathological aversion to any kind of regimented fun. And New Years Eve has to be the top of the list when it comes to regimented fun . I'm a fly by the seat of my pants gal as you all know. I thrive on spontinaity. It's one of the things that I miss the most about my pre K (pre kids) life. You go out for a "quick" drink. You come home 2 months later with a dual citizenship and a spaniel puppy named Corky. That my friends, is fun. Fun sans frontiers.

Being told repeatedly that this year is going to be "the best ever", watching prepubescents snogging FULL TONGUE in front of a TV camera, and hearing all those damn "we had a tough year but somehow we made it" stories. Oh. My. God. Husband has to hide all sharp objects and buy extra Clos du Bois.

It starts at around 9:30. That's when people start wondering what the time is. "How long do we have?". Until what exactly? Until you can wow a whole room with your math prowess (you can count down as well as up!). Stop asking me what the bloody time is!

New Years Day, while everybody else nurses their hangovers, I work hard to crawl out of the deep depression that I have been sucked into by repeated conversations about weight loss, smoking, drinking, meat, chocolate, pork pies. Really? That's what the New Year means to you? Planning an entire year with no pleasure whatsoever?

Thankfully its over now for another year. I can now get back to my jolly happy go lucky self! And look forward to a great night out with some girlfriends. With NO PRESSURE at all to have fun, safe in the knowledge that with such a great group of ladies, how could I not? Cheers!