Suicide is selfish. Isn't that what they say? You take your own life without the slightest regard for the aftermath of regret, resentment, guilt and sadness that your actions have inflicted on those left behind. I've attempted suicide. Well, ok, that's a bit strong. I went out one night and managed to inhale an entire bottle of Frangelica. It felt a lot like a suicide attempt. It is the very thought of the messy aftermath that would always stop me in my tracks.
Nowadays though, I am stopped in my tracks. Literally. By selfish suiciders who can't take it anymore, and jump in front of a subway train. During rush hour. Hello? I don't want to come off as cold here but really? 8.30am? That's the hour that you deemed just right for your moment of judgement? So not after 10am then, when I'm already in the office and you could just quietly do your deed and thousands of commuters need not be affected?
I know what you are thinking. What a cold hearted bitch. And yes, you are right. I am. But I haven't always been. I became this way from riding the New York City subway. Because if riding the New York City Subway teaches you only one thing it is this - it is every man for himself. There is no room for manners, no room for "oh please, after you" on the MTA. It is do or die. Survival of the fittest. Get your elbows out and your friggin' backpack off your back. Breathe in and get to know the 400 pound guy from Co-op City, he's gonna be your BFF for the next two stops.
It's of course unbearably sad to think that somebody is so depressed, and feels like they have no choice at all but to throw themselves in front of a moving train. Plainly that is just awful. But look, we all feel suicidal on the subway at 8.30, especially when somebody jumps and fucks up your commute. Just wait until after the rush hour. Who knows? You may feel a whole lot better then too.