I have a new lease on life today. Gone are my tears and overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, betrayal and resentment over Brett's trade to the Jets. I'm British for God's sake. When we were huddling underground in train depots did we give up? When we have to make one sausage last a month, did we give up? When we had to fashion our carpets into clothing for an entire decade, did we give up? NO, WE JOLLY WELL DID NOT!
We joined forces. We borrowed curtains from neighbours (yes, the English spelling) and we made a bloody decent outfit. Even if it was grey. Or gray. Up until now my MO has been to pretend that this just isn't happening, and to set fire to anybody I see wearing a Jets shirt with "Favre" on the back. (It's not a Favre jersey. A Favre jersey is from GREEN BAY). But now that I've seen the press conferences I see it all so clearly. He needs me. He needs US. We must free him from this hell. He wanted to play football for Green Bay. And those treachorous bastards traded him to the New York Jets (the football equivalent of chopping off your head). Hold tight Brett, we'll be right there!
In case you don't quite comprehend the enormity of this trade let me offer you some perspective. This is like having Tom Hanks teach a drama program at Summer camp in the Poconos. This is like having Steve Schwarzman work the counter at Commerce Bank. This is like having Dustin Hoffman dressed as a turkey outside a butchers shop in a mall at Christmas. In essence, this is WRONG. But don't despair my green and gold loving friends. We can overcome.
First of all, pretend it isn't happening. It's the Jets, so really who cares about them? We'll be glued to our Packer games, Aaron Rodgers doing extremely well and not disappointing at all. Before you know it the Packers will be in the playoffs, and then the Superbowl, and then the season will be over, and Brett will be back home (where he should have been all year) and then we won't have to pretend that he's dead to us anymore. We can go back to reminiscing on all the good times we had with our original QB1. We can pretend it never happened. And the Jets and their fans can spend the rest of their lives with their mouths wide open in AWE at the greatness that momentarily touched their lives.
Oh Brett. If only.............